In my time I have known a multitude of different people. Most I have since lost touch with, but I still remember them and things about them. The past its a hot topic that keeps coming round again.Of course no one can go back and change what they have done, no matter how much they want to, what's done is indeed done. So you move on right?
I think you can to a degree though no matter what you do the ties will always be there. For example you may be happily wandering about and then be faced with someone you have not seen in a long time, purely by chance. Luckily this doesn't happen to me on a regular basis. People who have long since been buried tend to stay that way. But.... and stick with me on this .... this is the kind of thing I am talking about , the endless cycle. It feels like you moved on I mean you deleted them etc you don't move in the same circles anymore but yet here they are once again.
This is something that pains me...
( I should probably point out right now that no one showed up, I am just using that scenario as an illustration to my point. Which I will have probably forgotten by the time I get to making it.)
Anyhoo as I was saying , no matter how many times you hit delete or move to a new corner of the grid , the past always catches up with you. Its inevitable... there will always be a part of you looking back, making sure you are still safe in your little bubble of the present. There is no erase button that will undo everything that came before. So you have the choice... you live forever glancing over your shoulder looking for the first sign of danger something is going to come and invade your carefully reconstructed and comfortable current state. Or ... or you stop being such a dick thinking you can cheat everyone and everything with hastily made repairs to something that has been long since broken.
I have made the point numerous times that you cannot hide and well as stated above you cannot move on either not in true sense. To be truly free you have to let it all go. For me that means, draw a line and kill the avatar, cut all ties that hold you. I mean after you have done that you can't really go wrong unless you start making the same mistakes all over again. Though I would hope by that point you would have learnt and know better. I mean avatar suicide is a big thing to some.
This train of thought is usually met with screams of horror though. I don't think I deal in popular ideas lol. However... I do think its an honest one.. but then again isn't that the truth? Usually the most honest things are not very well received. Its like when a kid yells wow look at them! they are fat (or similar) .... yes its rude and all that , but its honest. I'm the kid yelling at fat people? I'm just being honest that in this situation its all or nothing.
I'm all for fairness though so lets flip this round and say you cant bring yourself to murder your carefully created self. So you vow this is it... no more! You empty your profile and friends list, take yourself off the search listings so no one can find you, change your habits, the places you go. Then what.. spend the rest of your time waiting to be found because there's one thing for sure if someone wants to find you enough... they will. Again its that whole thing of forever being on the run from those awkward conversations, chance meetings and so on. Call me crazy... but I know which I would prefer.
So what about me? how does all this fit into anything.... Those that know me, and know me well, would tell you that I have long LONG wanted to murder this avatar. I have many reasons, oddly its not so much to escape my own past. I mean don't get me wrong of course I have some questionable times behind me, but nothing I would hang for. As you can see she is still very much un-murdered, though she has had a few very close calls. I will admit that its getting harder to keep her around, almost all the reasons for staying are gone. No, for now I am just musing an age old argument.
Storm.
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